The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

A Quick Trip
by Michael A. Kechula

Liz shuddered, as Dr. Zangara approached with a huge syringe. Though she agreed to participate in an experiment, she didn’t know it meant getting a ten inch needle rammed into her flesh.

“Do you really have to stick me with that awful looking thing?” she asked.

“It’s a necessary step so you can go backward in time. However, the needle to go forward in time is much smaller. Do you prefer to travel into the future?”

“No. I want to go back five years and change things so I can marry the guy I threw away.”

“Then you must get the injection, and lay down on this rotating table.”

“But I thought you had a time machine.”

The needle and table will have to do until the time machine I’m building is finished. Which will take ten more years. Do you want to wait that long to resolve your problem from the past?


“Then let’s proceed. My time is very valuable.”

“Okay,” she said.

She screamed when he jammed the needle in her forehead. “You said it wouldn’t hurt.”

“It shouldn’t. When I tested it on lab mice, they didn’t complain. Okay, I’m going to start the countdown from ten. When I reach one, my assistant will start the rotating table. You may have the sensation that you'll fly off. It's only an illusion. The straps will hold you very securely. Okay, I’m starting the countdown now. Ten…nine…eight…”

Closing her eyes, she thought of what she’d do when she was transported five years into the past. She couldn’t wait to find herself sitting in a fancy restaurant with Harry, at the point where he offered her an engagement ring. This time when he offered the ring, she’d scream, “YES!” and throw herself into his arms. Then two minutes later she'd  be transported back to Zangara’s lab. 


The table began to rotate. In no time, it was spinning at ten revolutions per second.

Suddenly, Zangara heard a loud pop.

“Oh hell!” he said. "She disappeared.”

“That makes twenty-three that have disappeared this month,” said his assistant. “Perhaps we should terminate the experiment before the authorities find out.”

“Never!” Zangara shouted. “I intend to win a Nobel Prize. Bring in the next woman.”

Meanwhile, Liz returned to the present. Instead of showing up on the rotating table, as Zangara promised, she ended up inside a cage at the city zoo. She no longer knew her name was Liz.  And she didn’t even stir when a male gorilla within the cage approached and stroked her furry body.

That evening, a courier delivered an envelope to Zangara. Inside was a fat check and a note of thanks.

The note said, “We really appreciate your latest addition to our collection of endangered species. At the rate you are supplying us, we’ll soon have the largest and finest collection of female gorillas in the world.”