Hottest Job
Opportunities
by Amit
Parmessur
1.
Monitoring the traffic in desolate places.
Age limit: 20-30
Qualifications:
Degree in body language
Requirements:
Patience. Experience in living alone. Applicants
preferably male and muscular. Athletic prowess in
case of danger. Should be handsome, not to appear
like an escaped blood-thirsty monkey to road
users. Friendly outlook if not handsome. Honest.
Website: www.desertroad.com
2. DJ in
funerals.
Age limit: 25-40
Qualifications: A
degree in music (and sociology if possible)
Requirements:
Applicants should be fit lest they end up
accompanying the deceased. Should have known what
the loss of a loved one means. Motherly heart
recommended for male candidates. Ability to turn
tears into laughter. Dry eyes.
Website: www.funeralanimation.com
3. Sieving
sand on our public beaches.
Age limit: 18-
Qualifications:
Flexible
Requirements: Very
sharp eyes and refined knowledge of sand and sea
creatures. Generous biceps and triceps. Ability
to work in partnership. Applicants judged too old
to undergo eye test.
Website: www.attemptatpromotingecotourism.com
4.
Watering vast watercress cultivations thrice a
day.
Age limit: 20-60
Qualifications:
Degree or diploma in agriculture
Requirements:
Admirer (but not eater) of watercress. Sound
knowledge of the contours of the water-can and
pipes. Allergic to aphids, snakes, the
diamondback moth and white butterflies. Good
timing.
Website: http://green.com/watercress/
5. Gluing
fallen leaves back onto forest tress.
Age limit: 20-25
Qualifications:
Degree in forestry
Requirements:
Animal friendly. Good climbing skills and agility.
Perfect equilibrium. A very sound knowledge of
the problems facing our environment. And an
unbending urge and love to save and embellish our
fauna and flora. Applicants should be already
insured.
Website: www.afforestation.com
6.
Counting the number of fish in the Indian Ocean.
Age limit: 18-25
Qualifications:
Diploma in diving.
Requirements:
Applicants should live in coastal regions or
should move and settle by the coast if selected.
Only one test to undergo: successful candidates
would be those who don’t show least emotion
or fear while watching Les Dents de la Mer 1-2-3
with us. 4 too will be watched if needed.
Website: www.indianfishcensus.com
7.
Cleaning tyres of airplanes with shoe polish.
Age limit: 40-65
Qualifications:
Course in shoe polishing
Requirements:
Resistant to fuel. A strong love for planes. An
awareness of the nuances of black polish. Dwarfs
stand a better chance, with the lower part of the
tyres easily accessible to them. Shoemakers
wishing to have a rise in pay will be favoured.
Dwarf shoemakers can celebrate in advance.
Website: www.polishedtyresbetterflight.com
8.
Maintaining the deserts.
Age limit: open to
any adult
Qualifications:
Degree in maintenance.
Requirements:
Should possess cactus-like qualities. Nomadic
skills. If married, husband or wife
shouldn’t mind having a sun-burnt or coal-like
partner. Should be ready to invest part of salary
in our own solar cream company. Once selected
should not desert job.
Website: www.dignifyingdeserts.com
NOTE
PLEASE: All those not interested in any
post can still write to us to say they are not
interested. Those interested to have lots of
money can apply for different posts
simultaneously. For more info please call on +24898745111.
Now!
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