by Michael A. Kechula
anybody hear me?
exclaimed the radio operator for SETI (Search For
Extraterrestrial Intelligence). Who are you?
the Emperor of Mars. I need your help. We have
more dinosaurs than our planets ecosystem
can support. Do you need any on your planet?
Wed be happy to send you some.
I dont think so.
have any on your planet now? asked the
all died out long ago.
dont know what youre missing. Id
be eternally grateful, if youd take some
off my hands. In fact, Id be pleased to
offer you an all expense paid, wonderful vacation
on our planet if you accepted a few. This
includes lodging at a suite in our best hotel,
which is staffed by our most gorgeous and very
vacation on Mars sounds fantastic, SETI
said. What if we make a trade?
you have to offer? asked the Emperor.
delightful creatures on Earth. Youll love
them. Theyre quite delicious.
great! Well ship our dinosaurs tomorrow.
The next day,
six-billion dinosaurs arrived on Earth in flying
saucers. The same day, Earth dispatched six
billion rats to Mars via UPS.
were thrilled with their new, imported
dinosaursuntil they discovered Martian
dinosaurs had insatiable, gargantuan appetites.
The dinos ate cars, airplanes, people, London,
Australia, and everything else in sight. Then
they ate each other. In six months, everything on
Earth was gone, except for mountains of dinosaur
The Emperor of
Mars was ecstatic. Hed conquered Earth
without firing a shot. And hed received
enough rats to feed his all his subjects for an