madaM
by Amit
Parmessur
She could
stoke fire. She could stroke fire. She could lock
a drawer and put the key in the same drawer. Her
name, Otto. With love ottO. She had not only a
name but a mane too. And for that she was
respected and inspected. Between her and men
nodistance.
Once, to
school she went -- the whole Church would always
remember that! The teacher asked what does a
bishop do.
"A bishop
is someone who hops twice," Otto stood up
and said.
The class
hopped. She did not blush.
"Hop it!"
yelled the teacher.
A second time
she went to school -- all gymnasts should
remember that! "What is a prebend?"
asked the teacher.
"A pre-bend
is a bend before we bend," ottO said, and
stood up. She blushed. The class did not hop. The
teacher promised to promise to pre-pare her for
the examinations with his sharp stick in the
corner of a corner of the classroom.
And yesterday
to the bizarre bazaar she was going. No she was
not; the bazaar was fully full. Somewhat
confused, to a hops -- sorry shop -- she went.
She entered. But no one trembled. Her mane had
lost a bit of izzat down the years.
"Can I
help you, Madam?" asked a salesman.
"madaM!"
she rectified. "Yes you can."
"What you
need?" asked the salesman.
"A
present," she said.
"What
present you want madaM?" asked the salesman.
She pondered.
Good question? "The present I want for the
present is my past," she said. The salesman
stood stock still by the moving stock (there were
clocks whose needles were moving).
"The past
as present! We are in present, why the past?"
asked the salesman, playing the game.
"The past
is past. That is what I present, I mean I resent,"
said Otto.
Then, she
thought she was digressing and forgetting the
present she came to buy for Honey her quite silly
future husband who was in love with Italy and tea
and who insisted that at present and in future
she must forget her past for getting a husband
like him.
Time passed.
"What present?" the salesman asked.
"A pre-sent
present," she said automatically. As you can
see or read, she had not lost her school habits.
"How can
I send you a gift before I send you the gift?"
asked the salesman. He was so con-fused that he
resigned. ottO made him re-sign, apologized and
departed.
A few days
later ottO got married! Refusal would have meant
the death of her mother's husband.
"When
shall we kiss?" asked Honey.
"On... on
honey...moon," she faltered.
Honey saw she
was disturbed. "On moon Honey. This is what
you wanted to say? How Romeantic!" He sipped
his strong cup of strong tea.
"No, on
honeymoon," she breathed hard.
"Oh no.
On moon, Honey." Honey persisted.
She slapped
him. His tea and teeth flew. "H'ney farą da
sč," he shouted, kneeling and brandishing
his cup strongly. He collapsed. All bees were
offended.
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