by Michael A. Kechula
next, Charlie, said the Angel of Death to
the chubby guy at the head of the line.
lowered the rope barrier, Charlie ran at full
speed toward the railing of the Golden Gate
Bridge. Climbing over, he yelled Geronimo,
out in the line.
your turn, Marcia, AOD said, tapping her
toward the railing, and managed to leap right
over it on her first try. Life stinks!
she yelled on the way down.
The folks in
line applauded even louder.
Boss, said AODs assistant. Look
up there. Somebodys standing on top of the
through his binoculars. By golly, youre
right. Never fails. Some idiot always manages to
screw things up.
on top of the bridge, AOD yelled through a
bullhorn. What the hell do you think youre
the guy yelled back.
a minute. Whats your name?
his daily planner. You cant jump. Youre
on tomorrows list.
matter? Frank hollered.
Affects the entire cosmos. Climb down. Come
back tomorrow. Bring beer. Ill bring pizza.
Well party first.
cant stand another day of my wifes
go home. Check into a hotel. Go out and have a
great dinner at Fishermans Wharf. Find
yourself a nice streetwalker. What the hellits
your last full day on this planet. Might as well
live it up big time.
know if I can get down by myself. I feel dizzy.
Ill call the rescue squad, AOD said,
grabbing his cell phone.
for rescuers to arrive, AOD let three more people
in line rush to the bridges railing and
leap over. When he heard them hit the water, he
put a checkmark next to their names in his daily
doing up there? asked AOD.
thinking things over, Frank replied. Even
if I go to a hotel, shell find me. You have
no idea to what lengths shell go to nag me.
And if I have an expensive meal on the Wharf, shell
carry on like a lunatic. Itll be a thousand
times worse if I bed down with a streetwalker. I
think Im just gonna jump and be done with
do it! Youll botch up the entire
A cab arrived.
Franks wife jumped out and started yelling. What
the hell are you doing up there? You better
come down and get home real fast. The lawn
needs mowing. You forgot to wash the car.
And you have to take the dog to the vet. After
that you hafta pick up my mother from the airport.
So get moving, or Ill climb up there and
kick your ass!
something exceedingly obscene, then dived off the
bridge into San Francisco Bay.
cosmos collapsed into nothingness.