by Michael A. Kechula
waiter! Harry yelled, Theres a
fly in my coffee!
worry, said the waiter. Its
Horace. He belongs to the owner. Hes
training for the Olympic swim team. Wow!
Look at him go. Hes in great form this
crazy? Get this cup outta here and give me a
is very sensitive. If he hears you, he may think
you dont like him.
a new cup of coffee, or Ill never eat here
hear that, Horace? asked the waiter.
the fly said, looking up at Harry. Whats
your problem, Mister?
Oh, I get it. Youre a ventriloquist.
Pretty neat trick making it seem like the flys
a ventriloquist, the waiter said. Horace
is talking. He just asked what your problem is.
You better answer. He dont like it when
somebody dont answer him.
talking to no stupid damn fly.
The fly leapt
from the cup and karate chopped Harrys nose.
The impact knocked Harry off the chair. His
face was blood-soaked when he hit the floor.
him pretty hard, the waiter said. He
aint getting up.
The fly flew
to Harry and put its ear against Harrys
shirt. No heartbeat, it said.
Whyd you hafta hit him so hard?
deserved it for not answering my question. Lets
dump him out back in a garbage can.
grabbed Harry under the shoulders, while the fly
grabbed Harrys ankles. Carrying the
corpse outside, they dropped it into a trash can.
the lid open, the fly said, as whistled
into the wind.
sky was black with flies.
fresh chow, Horace called, pointing to
of famished flies dined, the waiter and Horace
returned to the coffee shop.
another patron complained about a fly in his
coffee. He too didnt talk nice to Horace.
got an idea, Horace said, while he and the
waiter carried the second body to a garbage can.
Instead of letting flies dine on corpses
for free, we should charge them each a dollar.
idea. But where are we gonna get extra corpses
for them to munch on after this ones gone?
problem. If I keep swimming in customers
coffee cups, Ill bet theyll complain
like these two guys did. When they do, Ill
slam their noses right into their brains. Well
drop them into garbage cans, let the flies know
dinner is served, and collect a buck from every
one that wants to eat.
Horace and the
waiter got rich.
they invested all their earnings in the Stock
Market. They lost everything during the
Great Crash of 2008.
customer didnt see Horace swimming in his
coffee, and drank the whole cup in a single gulp.