The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

The Gospel According to...
by Oonah V Joslin

“Where’d they find it?”

“That’s the beauty of it. ‘Xactly where you’d expect. Digging foundations in Bethlehem.”

“That’s too spooky.”

“Darned right!”

“And it was just there?”

“Yip! Staring ‘em in the face. Of course it’s only a fragment.”

“Naturally. Like them Dead Sea things.”

“Well, you’d hardly expect to find an entire Gospel. Ripped out of an old exercise book, it was. S’pose paper must’ve been scarce.”

“What’d it say?”

“Well, according to the news, pretty much what you’d think. Ask and it shall be given unto you. Take and ye shall have. Bomb and it will be opened unto you.”

“And ain’t that the authentic language, though.”

“Sure is. Wrote in old fashioned English - just like the original.”

“Does it say anything else?”

“Says the people of Gad shall prevail, 'gainst economic crisis, enemies and allies - or all lies. The writing’s not that great in places.”

“Well, it’s a comfort.”

“Best of all at the bottom it’s signed Jesus AD 29 and it has one of them thar ichthus marks on.”

“A what?”

“A fish – you know it’s like a goldfish or something. And right on the lasy line it says Gad Bless America.”